The 12 Murders of Christmas

(On the first day of Christmas my authors gave to me)
(and) A recipe for plum pudding.

(On the second day of Christmas my authors gave to me)
Two arsons

(On the third day of Christmas my authors gave to me)
Three kooky cats

(On the forth day Christmas my authors gave to me)
Four pretzel cookies

(On the fifth day of Christmas my authors gave to me)
Five doggy biscuits!

(On the sixth day of Christmas my authors gave to me)
Six chunky monkeys

(On the seventh day of Christmas my authors gave to me)
Seven apple fritters

(On the eighth day of Christmas my authors gave to me)
Eight drowning victims

(On the ninth day of Christmas my authors gave to me)
Nine kidnapped children

(On the tenth day of Christmas my authors gave to me)
Ten homicides

(On the eleventh day of Christmas my authors gave to me)
Eleven suspects fleeing

(On the twelfth day of Christmas my authors gave to me)
Twelve newspapers

For those who do not know me, this version of The Twelve Days Of Christmas may look rather strange, and this is because this is a tribute to my favorite authors Joanne Fluke, Leslie Meier and Laura Levine. Every verse in this song is based on events or things that occur in each of their series involving their awesome mystery solving characters by the names of Hannah  Swensen (my personal favorite), Lucy Stone and Jaine Austen.

In the Joanne Fluke mysteries, her main character, Hannah Swensen, is a baker in a small town in Minnesota called Lake Eden. Hannah occasionally finds murder victims and takes it upon herself to solve their murders while giving us fairly nice recipes for different kinds of food. Verses one,  four , seven and eight are inspired by Joanne Fluke stories.

In the Leslie Meier mysteries our protagonist is Lucy Stone. Lucy lives in Tinker's Cove, Maine and is a hardworking mother of four who has a job at the local newspaper, The Penny Saver. Tinker's Cove is nice small town but occasionally there are crimes that need solving. Lucy is just the right woman for the job, though, more often than not, she doesn't mean to solve anything. That doesn't stop her from doing good along the way. Verses two, five, nine and twelve are inspired by Leslie Meier.

And finally, in Laura Levine's mystery novels we follow a woman by the name of Jaine Austen who lives in Los Angeles, California with her troublesome cat, Prozac. Jaine writes ads for different companies (including a toilet bowl company) and sometimes comes across murder victims whose murders she seeks to solve. Jaine and Prozac are tremendously funny and overall well put-together characters, and I'd recommend their stories to anyone wanting a good laugh. Verses three, six,  ten and eleven are inspired by Laura Levine's mysteries.